Living in America, we are free. Free to choose, or not to choose. This is the foundation upon which the country was built. However, this freedom is not always appreciated by those who live in the land of opportunity. Sometimes, I wish that my life was planned out for me. No wondering “what could have been” because this is what is set and this is what is happening. But if everything was planned for me, right down to the food I eat, could I ever be happy? In one sense, yes, because the “what if” factor will have been eliminated. But then I could get stuck in some dead end job just like every other sucker out there. If you have found what you love, what gets you excited, well then, kudos to you. Have a good life. I know what I love but it’s nothing I can make a career out of. It’s hobbies. But then there are those who go out and do exactly that. So why won’t I? I feel these hobbies do not use my knowledge to the best of it’s extent. That I need to do something with my life that involves intellectual thought, not art. And so, I strive to know all that I can. Maybe, like Matt Damon’s character in Good Will Hunting, I’m just a “scared shitless kid.” Scared of the future. Scared of choice. Maybe that’s why I want to stay in high school, why I don’t want to grow up. Our choices define who we are, so if I don’t want to make them, who am I? I suppose I think therefore I am, but I am most certainly not Rousseau. Life is what, that we are born, we reproduce, and then we die. The only way to tide the experience over is with happiness. So, back to the question, would I be happy if my life was a laundry list? It would certainly make it easier. I think if it was a choice about college, I could really be happy and do well anywhere. But a career? That’s something I will be doing my entire life. Maybe I need to grab hold of just a few more opportunities.

 Hell, maybe I’m just plain indecisive.